Ramsbury to twin with Rome

“Romesbury” – Ramsbury to twin with Rome

In an attempt to maintain cultural and commercial links with Europe post-Brexit, Ramsbury Parish Council has announced it will seek a twinning arrangement with Rome.

“Forget all that ‘Ravensbury’ nonsense,” said councillor Juba Leavitte. “It’s quite clear that the name Ramsbury derives from ‘Romans-bury’ and you only have to look at Littlecote to see how many Romans had their second homes here.”

“We’re already replacing some of the street names – you should check out the new-look Square! And we’ve taken the trouble of repainting that old AA sign,” she added. “After all, who really needs to know the way to Aldbourne these days? Rome’s so much more cosmopolitan.”

“Now we’re just bracing ourselves for the influx of tourists from the Eternal City. We’ve already got Cafe Bella – how much more Mediterranean can you get? And we’ve sent the Town Crier on a crash course in Italian so they’ll really feel at home. We’re also going to get him something decent to wear – something a bit more couture, like Armani or Versace. Can’t have him letting the side down in front of all our fashionable guests.”

Asked when residents would start to see the benefits of the twinning, Ms Leavitt was optimistic. “Soon. Very soon,” she said excitedly, adding “we’ve already had some very charming gentlemen from Sicily who are interested in reviving the Ramsbury Building Society for an international financial project they’re working on. Some of the details are still to be finalised, but they promised it would be an offer we couldn’t refuse!”

It’s uncertain whether the Pope will accept the invitation to stand in as Bishop of Ramsbury after Bishop Ed’s retirement – a spokesman for the Vatican commented only that this would be “an ecumenical matter”.