Axford News

The sleepy parish of Ramsbury-with-Axford was waking up to the news today that Axford has officially served notice under Axticle 50 to start the process of going it alone.  In a notice sellotaped to the Tree in the Square, Axford declared its intentions to regain its sovereignty and seek a new place in the world.  Parish Councillors will now have 2 years to agree the terms of separation, including contentious issues such as payment for the new SID speed indicator devices.

Long-time independence agitator Avril Furst hailed today as a momentous and historical moment in history, and moved to allay fears of a hard border being reimposed on that tight bend by Priory Farm where everyone keeps crashing their cars.

There remains much to discuss, such as cross-border transportation of the Highland cows at Sound Bottom, and whether the 48 bus route will now be subject to WTO rules, but Ms Furst waved these away saying she had already had firm indications of a trade deal with Baydon.

In a further surprise development, Stitchcombe announced it would now seek a referendum on independence from Axford and threatened to withhold the Kennet unless its demands were met.